Pretty Girls Don't Do Heroin
by It'sAllGooeyAndSticky
Summary: Kenny is killed in a terrible fire. Karen and the rest of his family learn about his curse and why this is his final death. Cartman shows us a side of him we've never seen. Will Karen make it through? And who is this stranger that..., smells like Kenny? Contains drug use, and other disturbing subjects.


**Fire, Ice, and Smack**

I didn't know where I was going. But I kept walking. I didn't know what time it was, or what day it was. Hell, I didn't know what was going on. All I know is that I was walking. My body was on autopilot. I was doing everyday things, but I was unaware. I was a zombie. Not in the sense that I was infected, or that I was going to bite people. I just wasn't truly living. I had left South Park when I was twenty-one, just to see if change in scenery would make things better. But, no. It didn't. I still felt hollow. I still cried myself to sleep every night. I still hated Eric fat ass Cartman unconditionally. I hated him. But why? Because he was the one who spoiled everything for me. Well, okay. He didn't spoil anything. He just tore at the strand of hope that I clung to for seven months. I think, instead of ranting, I should explain why I am here. I should explain to you, why I have become a drug addict, and why I'm homeless. I should. It'll tear me up inside, but I'll do it.

I am Karen McCormick. I am twenty-six years old. I look worse than my brothers did when I used to live with them. They were dirty, skinny, and ragged. I used to be pretty. Now, I was a wreck. I had tangled brown hair that I cut past my ear. It was full of tangles, and grease, and my eyes were hollow. They were dark, and sunken, and I was thin. I had ragged ripped clothes. I smelled like, sweat, dirty underwear, and who knows what else. I was a South Parkian. I was homeless. I had left South Park for California. I actually didn't want to go to California. But I ended up there, after a year and a half of hell. A year and a half of walking, sleeping outside, in backyards, on park benches. I made it there. That's where I got started on drugs. That's where I found Heroin. That's where I found my spiraling depression. Well, no. That's just where it got worse. But anyway, who cares. I think to make sense of all this junk I'm telling you, I have to go back in time even more.

I was sixteen. I was a Sophomore in high school. I was happy, and care free, and I was in love. My crush didn't know about me, but I was going to change that. I wanted him. I wanted him for myself. I wanted someone who had it all. A perfect family, a nice house, money. But not for those things. I wanted him because he was kind, and gentle. I wanted him because he was so handsome, and nice. I wanted him because he was always there when I was down in the dumps. Him, my guardian angel, and my brothers were all that kept me going. I wanted him. But I never got to tell him what I wanted. I never got to confess my true feelings for him. I got caught in a life long battle with death. Literally.

At sixteen, my parents still lived in the run down house. I still hid when there was fighting. Kevin and Kenny still took it up on themselves to protect me from those fights. Mysterion still showed up every time I was being bullied at school for being the poor girl. Nothing had changed, really. I had just grown up. We all had. Kevin, Kenny, Mysterion. We all had grown up.

I remember it all like it was yesterday. I was walking home, and hoping that Kenny was home. I needed help with a project for school. I needed help to try and make the best science fair project that I had ever made. I went to my house, and saw a lot of commotion going on. There was laughter, and Kenny and Kevin were throwing water balloons at each other. They saw me, and I felt a hard smack as a balloon hit me. It burst, sending water all over my face, and down my shirt. I groaned.

"That was the last one." Kenny said as he stared down at me with a smile. "Sorry we hit you." He said as he held out a hand for me to take it.

"No, you're not." I said. I stuck my tongue out at him, and laughed.

"Come on, let's go eat." Kenny said as he and Kevin went inside the house.

The house smelled like smoke. Not cigarette smoke. It smelled like…

"FIRE!" Kevin shouted as he ran off trying to find the source of the flames.

The fire had spread at an alarming rate. Kenny and I screamed as he tried to use whatever we could to put it out. The flames were bigger and bigger. Soon, Kenny was engulfed in flames, too. His coat was flammable, apparently. I tried to help, but soon, I couldn't see a damn thing over the flames. Kenny was shrieking. I heard the smoke alarm go off, and I wondered where my mom and dad were. Kenny. I lost my grip on the boy's hand, and I couldn't find it. I couldn't find Kenny.

I felt a hand grab me and run But it was a different hand then the one I wanted. It was Kevin's big rough worn one. Not Kenny's thin sweaty smooth one. I ran though. Not wanting to get injured, or burnt. I ran as fast as I could.

"Where's my mom and dad?" I asked bitterly.

"I think they were still at work!" Kevin said as he looked around. "Kenny! Where's Kenny?" he asked.

"I lost him in the fire! Did you call the police?" I asked.

The house was on fire, and the fire was spreading out of control. I could still hear the screams that were ringing through the air. Kenny was in pain. I heard the loudest bang, and then, the house ceiling started caving in. Fire fighters started coming to try and stop the fire. But it was too out of control to stop. I screamed as my house collapsed under the weight of the flames. I screamed as I watched my house fall. This was real. This was happening to me. This was really truly happening.

There was a whoosh, and all of a sudden, the house stopped burning.

My mom and dad were not around. Kevin was screaming at the fire fighters to get my brother out. Or to at least see what they could find from the wreck of the house. Some of my bangs were singed.

The inventory goes as followed. All our clothes were turned to ash. The house was burnt down practically to the ground. Only the left side of the house still stood. The body found in the wreck was disfigured, and burnt to a crisp. But that's not all. There was a mysterious brown tar covering Kenny's orange parka. The walls were oozing all this brown tar. The police didn't know what the substance was. It smelled like rotten eggs, and sulfur. I just was astounded.

Mom and dad were devastated when they discovered the house. They were both at a loss for what to say. Kenny would need a funeral. But his corpse would probably disappear before we held it. It always did. Kenny died all the time. He would get killed, and we would have a funeral, and the corpse would disappear in the middle of the funeral. Sometimes it would disappear even before the funeral started, or even before it was arranged. My mom was sobbing as she leaned over and touched Kenny's burnt cheek.

"Stuart! Mah son! Mah Kinny! Stuart, mah prahd and joy!" she sobbed.

"Why is everyone so upset?" Kevin asked bitterly. "We'll hold the funeral for the squirt, and he'll be back in at least a week or so." Kevin said as he hugged my mom.

We were both comforted with that thought. It seemed that Mr. Broflovski, and my dad decided now was as good a time as any to mend their friendship. Because they made up. Mr. Broflovski invited us to stay with him while my parents got on their feet again. So, at least we had a place to sleep.

The funeral was held the next day. After Kenny had been taken to the morgue, and had the autopsy and the whole, embalming procedure done on him. It seemed odd, to me, that the body hadn't disappeared yet. My mom came into my room in the morning. She was crying really hard as she hugged me. I looked up at her confused. I was wearing a new black dress that had belonged to Sheila when she was my age. It fit me really good, actually.

"Mom, what's the matter?" I asked softly. "Kenny's okay. He's going to come back."

"No!" she sobbed. "Our Kenny…, he's dead, darlin'." She sobbed. "He's never coming back."

I heard Kevin shouting and screaming in the next room. He was yelling at my dad. I heard him start to cry hysterically.

"Karen, the house we used to live in, that's where we held the last meeting with the cult we were in." she said softly. "The curse is broken. The fire destroyed the house, honey. The fire destroyed Kenny." She sobbed. "We ain't going to have him back." She sobbed.

No. She was just kidding. He would be back. I know he would. This would soon be just another memory in the vast amount of memories that I had of Kenny dying. No. She was wrong.

But something was final about this funeral as I walked into the church. I was feeling a pain in my heart that I couldn't describe. I truly felt Kenny's loss for the first time. Everyone at church had flowers in their hands. Everyone. Everyone was crying. Even Craig was silently crying as he walked up and set the flowers on the altar.

The priest was white faced, and he looked like he was about to cry, too. Kyle was a mess. But that's not all I remember.

I remember the sounds of high heels, sniffles, sobs. I remember the sound of the rustle of clothing. The fluttering of bible pages. I remember everything being magnified to four times it's sound. I remember the smell of incense, and sweat, and perfume. Way too much perfume. I remember the satiny material of the dress that I was wearing. I remember the ringing in my ears. The sobs coming out of Kevin's throat. I remember it all. I can never forget.

I can't forget the hopes. The hopes that I was carrying. I wanted that body to disappear. I wanted to wake up in bed, and go see Kenny eating breakfast in the kitchen. I wanted my own life to end. I wanted Kenny. I wanted Mysterion. I didn't know why this was happening. Kenny was going to come back anyway. He was. This was all too much.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." The priest gave a speech that brought all of us to our knees. We all really hated this funeral. It had a final ring to it. This was really it. But I put that out of my mind. Kenny would come back.

"Is there anyone who would like to share anything with us, about Kenny?" asked Maxie softly. "A memory, a poem, a smile?" he asked.

Everyone went up there. All the guys and girls from his class. All the people Kenny had confided in me that picked on him. I only listened to few of the speeches with true focus.

"Kenny was my very best friend." Stan said as he stood up there. He was crying. "There was always a mystery about him. He was kind, and caring, and he liked to stay in the shadows. He observed a lot of things, and later used what he learned to help others. But the boy never once asked us for help. I love you, Kenny. I'm sorry that I never took the time to fully understand you. I love you." Stan said bitterly.

Cartman went up there, but I didn't pay attention. Kyle was next, and I found myself paying attention to him.

"Kenny, was one of the sweetest people anyone will ever meet." Kyle said as he started sobbing. "I remember, the first time, I found out my family didn't celebrate Christmas. We were Jewish, and we had our different customs. I was really sad, because all the boys were excluding me from the activities." Kyle was shaking now. "He took my hand…"Kyle started breaking down. "…And he looked me deep in the eyes, and said, "Don't worry, Kylee! I don't celebrate Christmas either! You're not alone." I never hated being a Jew again after I heard him say that to me." Kyle was trying to keep it together. He was failing dismally. "I love you, Kenny! I hope I see you again soon. I miss you." He sobbed.

Bebe went up there next. But I didn't pay attention to her either. I felt someone sit down beside me. I felt arms snake their way around my ribs. I broke down. I cried. We both cried. I don't know who was holding me, but they smelled good. They smelled like Kenny. Like Ax, and Brute. So, I sank into the arms that held me, and I cried hard. Butters went up there. I stopped crying so I could pay attention.

"M-my name is Butters." He whispered softly. He didn't need to speak up. You could hear a pen drop in that loud silence as he spoke. "I am here to share something with you." He said as his voice gathered strength. "Kenny was my best friend. He and I always joked about how, I was his reflection. How we were opposites. He wore orange, I wore turquoise. He was really bad in school, and I was the top of my class. He had a sailor's mouth, and I don't like to swear. I loved him dearly. Kenny, I believe you're still out there. Watching over me. Over all of us. Though I never got the chance to, I want to say, I love you. I miss you, Kenny, and I know you're in a better place. I am forever your best friend. Butters." He trudged off to sit back down, and we could all hear him sobbing. My parents spoke. I didn't listen. The person holding me let go of me, and left. Ike spoke.

"Kenny was the most amazing charming person I have ever known. If you knew Kenny McCormick, you knew there was something pulling you to him. Something saying, "I want to be your friend." Even if he didn't really talk much to you. Kenny loved that I was a genius. He would often call up and ask Kyle and I to help him with school. But I remember one day, he taught me how to tie a tie. I was going to go to a play rehearsal, and I needed to wear a suit and tie. Dad was working, and I asked Kenny if he could show me how to tie a tie. He did. We talked about drugs, sex, and morals. He didn't want anything to happen to me. He didn't want me growing up too fast. He and I were best friends ever since. Kenny, I know you're listening. I want you to know, that I won't forget how to tie a tie. I want you to know, I love you."

They asked me to speak. I couldn't. I was too overcome with grief. I couldn't say a single word. Kevin went up there. I listened.

"Kenny was something to all of us." He started. "A son, a brother, a friend. He was amazing. His manner was charming, and I really wish that I had gotten that. But I'm glad to call him my brother. My name is Kevin, and I hope that, where ever you are, Kenny, you know that we all love you. We all love you very much. May your soul rest in heaven's eternal light." He said softly.

I remember it all. I remember being led out of the church by my mom, and dad. I remember the hearse driving off with the coffin. I remember tears. Lots of tears. I remember every detail, because that's all I have left of Kenny.

I didn't know if I should go to the burial. I didn't know if I wanted to. But in the end, I did. I went along with everyone else. Two people were on either side of me, on the way to the grave site. I didn't know who they were. I just knew I wanted to touch them both. I took one big rough worn hand, and one soft thick warm hand. Kevin was on my right, and some stranger was on my left as we rode off to the site. I was still crying. I don't even know if mom and dad or anyone else tried to talk to me. But I didn't care. I was hurting so bad. I wanted my guardian angel. I wanted Mysterion. The voice broke through my thoughts.

"Karen, honey, I think you and I should go home." Kevin said from my right. "I don't think you're ready for the burial."

"Noooooooooooooooo!" I have never screamed that loud in my life.

"All right, kiddo! All right!" Kevin had said as he squeezed my hand.

"Don't let them take me!" I howled as I let go of Kevin. I leaned to my left and fell into those mysterious arms. I hugged the person, and they hugged me back. "Don't let them take me!" I sobbed. "Kenny! Come back!" I buried my head in the person's chest and clung to them for dear life.

I remember being helped out of the car. I walked over to the fresh dug grave, and saw Kenny's coffin there. The priest waited for everyone to be here. Soon, the ceremony was being held. Soon, the coffin was lowering into the ground.

"Nooooooooo!" I screamed out so loud my throat hurt. "Kenny! Kenny! Kenny! They're taking you away! Don't leave me, big brother! Nooooooooooooo!"

I launched myself towards him, and I wrapped my arms around the coffin. They were about to lower it.

I felt arms pulling me back. I clung all the tighter. I was sobbing so hard, I could hardly breathe. The arms were stronger than me. Kevin succeeded in pulling me back. He handed me off to my father, who held me as he too, sobbed. I turned around in his arms, and watched as the coffin lowered. I was crying, along with several other people. I remember screaming as people went up there and threw dirt into the hole. Covering my brother six feet under, forever.

Once again, I was breaking down. The thin mysterious arms were wrapping around my waist, pulling me back from throwing myself into the hole. To this day, I never knew who that person was.

I missed the prom. I dropped out of school. I missed everything. I stopped making friends. I know what you're thinking. "Karen, are you crazy? Dropping out of school?" But I didn't drop out of school in that sense. I just didn't talk to anyone. I became shut off from everyone. I hated life. I couldn't kill myself, because the sadness was so bad, I could hardly get out of bed.

Gerald helped my mom and dad bring themselves back together. Soon, Kevin, Mom, Dad and I were living on our own again.

I would cry myself to sleep the whole night. I would wait until my guardian angel comes, but he never came. Cartman came over to our new house once, when I was all alone. I had to open the door, or that knocking wouldn't go away. Cartman stood there, looking at me. He had red eyes, and he looked really sad. I looked at him confused.

"What?" I asked softly.

"I brought some pictures that Kenny told me to develop for you." He said softly. "He didn't have the money at the time, and he really wanted you to have them. I think he knew he was going to…, well, you know." He said softly.

I took the photo album, and looked through the pictures. It was me and Mysterion. I gasped.

"Mysterion!" I gasped. "Have you seen Mysterion?" I asked as tears filled my eyes.

"Karen, that's Kenny." Cartman whispered.

"No." I said smiling up at him. "I know, it's my guardian angel. He's going to come see me now that he knows I have these pictures." I said softly.

"Kenny is Mysterion!" Cartman said as he banged his big fist on the door frame. "I am telling you, Kenny is Mysterion!" he shouted.

I felt like I was losing myself all over again. I felt like I was losing him, again. Cartman's arms wrapped around me, and I cried. I didn't even stop to think twice that I was crying in a sociopath's arms. I just cried. I cried for quite a long time. I would never see my angel again.

Cartman pushed me back and we both walked into the house. He closed the door. He was crying with me, as we both walked into the living room, and sat on the couch. He jumped onto Kevin's laptop, and I sat there, not really caring about what he was doing. Until I heard him talking to me.

"You know, at the funeral, I really wanted to sing." Cartman said softly. "But I'm not a singer. I don't have a voice that I like, much less that anyone else likes. But I found a song that would've been perfect for his funeral." He whispered as he took my hand in his. "Can I share it with you?" he asked sadly.

"Fine." I said as I started to get a clear head. Fat ass was sitting right beside me. How weird was this? The piano started playing, and Cartman put the laptop on the center table. He scooted over, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I didn't move as the song started. I was starting to clear my head, and the fact that Cartman was hugging me was really creepy. But then…

"I didn't know today would be our last,

"And that I'd have to say goodbye to you so fast.

"I'm so numb I can't feel anymore. (I was absolutely wailing now. Cartman was too. And to my complete surprise, I was in his arms. It just goes to show. Death makes friends of enemies, too.)

"Prayin' you'll just walk back through that door.

"And tell me that I was only dreamin'.

"You're not really gone as long as I believe. (Cartman and I were sobbing as we held each other. My head was buried in his chest, and his head was buried in my long brown hair.)

"There will be another angel, around the thrown tonight.

"Your love lives on inside of me, and I will hold on tight.

"It's not our place to question, only God knows why.

"I'm just jealous of the angels, around the thrown tonight."

"Oh, Eric!" I sobbed as I held him. "I loved him so much!" I sobbed. The song started up again as Cartman held me tight.

"You always made my troubles feel so small.

"And you were always there, to catch me, when I'd fall.

"In a world, where heroes come and go.

"God just took the only one, I know.

"So I'll hold you, as close as I can.

"Longing for the day, when I see your face again.

"But until then! (I was positively howling with my sadness, and so was Cartman as we sat there, holding tight to each other.)

"God must need another angel, around the thrown tonight.

"Your love lives on inside of me,

"And I will hold on tight.

"It's not my place to question!

"Only God knows why.

"I'm just jealous of the angels, around the thrown tonight.

"Singing, Hallelujah! (Cartman and I both tried to stop the tears, but they just kept flowing. I couldn't even sing, as the notes flowed from the song.)

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah. (Her voice was the only thing as the piano stopped. Our sobs stopped to hear that one lone sentence.)

"I'm just jealous of the angels…, around the thrown…, tonight."

When I graduated, I left that night. It was one in the morning, and I left. I didn't take clothes with me. I didn't take anything but what was on my back. My jacket, my shirt, my pants. I left. I left and I never looked back. I don't know what became of my family. I don't know what became of anyone. I just got out of bed, got dressed, and left.

My first stop was the cemetery. I went straight to his stone. I saw that snow had piled up on it, and I couldn't see the name. But I somehow knew it was his. I dusted the frozen powder off of it, and I read the stone.

"Kenneth Daniel McCormick. March22, 1984. Died April 4th, 2014. In loving memory. Ones who die, never truly ever leave us. May you rest in peace, in the light of the Lord, our savior. Amen." I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

"You know, ever since you left, all I do is cry." I said bitterly. "I hate you. I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for not staying with me like you promised. You're a jerk, Kenny. I hope you ended up in Hell." I said bitterly.

"I don't mean that." I said after a while. I guess I expected the stone to answer me back or something. "Kenny, 'm sorry I didn't speak at your funeral. I couldn't. I really felt sick. I feel sick. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like, if I didn't exist. I wonder if I could ever gather the guts to kill myself." I said softly. "I hope you don't hate me." My face was really hot now, and there was a not in my throat. "I really wanted to speak at your funeral. I just don't know what I would've said." I began to cry. "Kenny, can't you come back to me? I'll treat you better. I'll let you hang out with your friends more often. I really miss you." I sobbed. "Can't you just…, come out of there?" I asked softly. "Kenny?" He didn't answer. "Kenny?!" He still didn't answer. "Fine!" I shouted as I turned around. "Fuck you too, Kenny! You're not my brother anymore!"

I walked. For a long time. Walked. I never stopped. I just went, and crossed the streets when the lights told me to, and I walked. Slowly. People tried to talk to me again, but I just walked. When I needed water, I went to wherever I could find one. I drank out of hoses, out of fountains. I drank out of public water fountains in the malls I walked past. I slept on park benches until park rangers kicked me out. I slept under bridges. I slept in backyards. I slept in the back of a pickup truck once. I was fine. No one messed with me. I shared food with people at homeless shelters. I went to soup kitchens. I always had food. I was okay.

I met a man named Jack. He was a heroin addict. He introduced me to it. He gave me my first hit. It was nice. At first, I got chills. I felt like…, ice. But I got used to it. I loved it. It numbed all my emotions away. I felt good. I felt nice. For once, I was awake.

I got myself together. I got an apartment, I got a job. California was nice. I could get my heroin at night. I usually just sniffed it. I could hear Kenny telling me in the back of my mind that, "If you're going to do that, young lady, you shouldn't shoot up. I don't want your arms all covered in track marks." So, I did as he said. I just sniffed it. No big deal. I was not doing anything bad. I lived alone. I was working. I was a functioning heroin junkie. This drug woke me up. It brought me back to life. To a world without Kenny, that I could deal with. This world had no time. Soon, before I knew it, I was twenty five. Soon, before I knew it, I was curious. I wanted to return. So, I quit my job, and left. I didn't get a plain. I just walked. I walked for a long time. I always had food, always had a place to sleep. But when I got here, to where I am now, I realized, I was a mess. I focused for the first time on where I was. It was a pang of sadness, and heart break that made me realize, I was at the grave site. I looked down, and saw him. He was leaning against the stone. He was in the way. I couldn't read the lettering. I stared at him.

"Karen?" he asked softly.

"What?" I asked as my eyes filled with tears.

"Where have you been?" he asked as he looked at me.

"Crazy." I said as I tried to blink and make the image go away. "I've been away for so long, I swear you're alive."

"I am." He said softly. "In your heart." He added as he stared at me.

"Kenny, are you even really talking to me?" I asked as tears filled my eyes.

"No. You're unconscious at the grave site. This is all a dream."

"Oh." I muttered. I started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Nowhere." I said bitterly. "I just don't want to dream of you." I muttered.

"Karen, honey, come back. I need to speak with you." He said softly.

I walked over to the grave stone, and sat down. He wrapped his arms around me, and I sobbed hysterically. I couldn't hold the pain. I couldn't hold the hurt. I couldn't. Not anymore. Even the heroin wasn't enough.

"Karen, sweetie, you have to be strong." He said softly.

"I don't want to!" I sobbed. "I want to be with you! I'm too small for this world!" I sobbed. "I'm just a little girl!"

"Karen, you're twenty-six years old. You're a big girl. You're a woman now." He said softly.

"I am not!" I sobbed. "I'm still a virgin." I added softly. "That makes me a little girl."

"Karen, I want you to leave the smack. Kenny said softly.

"I can't do that." I sobbed. "It makes me feel better. I don't think about you, or dream about you, or anything." I sobbed.

"Karen, do you feel happy?" he asked.

"With the drugs, I do." I said bitterly.

"I see. I wish you would leave the smack." He said bitterly. "I really do. Pretty girls don't do heroin." He said softly.

"Pretty boys don't die!" I sobbed. "Angels don't die, Kenny!"

"Karen, it wasn't my choice." Kenny said softly. "Dad left a cigarette butt on the carpet, and the whole place went down." Kenny said softly. "I didn't know the house was connected to my curse." He said softly. "Karen, please pull yourself together." He pleaded softly.

"I can't!" I sobbed. "I don't know how." I sobbed as I held Kenny.

"You have got to. Because I want you to live, for me. I never got to have a family, and kids, and do things with other people like couples do. I want you to live, for me."

"I miss you, Kenny! Mysterion!" I sobbed.

"I miss you, too. But I am always looking out for you. I am always there. Protecting you. I always give you everything you need. Didn't you ever wonder why you didn't have trouble when you went on your little adventure?" he asked softly.

"I never thought about it." I whispered softly.

"Karen." He said as he kissed me. "Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen."

… … … … … …

I said her name over and over. She looked so frail, and small. She was leaning on the tomb stone, hugging it for dear life. She was sobbing. Her face suddenly fell forward as if to kiss it, but she hit her tooth on it, and I heard a sickening crack. I grabbed her, and pulled her back away from the grave. She sobbed. Her hands were bloody, from gripping the stone too tight. I gently wiped them off. She was crying. She was trembling, and mumbling non sense. I shook her, and called out to her.

"Karen! Honey, wake up." I said softly as I tried to wake her. "Karen, darling."

She wrapped her arms around me, but didn't open her eyes. She just cried. "It's you." She sobbed. "You're the one who was with me and Kevin during the funeral." She sobbed. "I love you! I don't want to let you go!" she sobbed. "You smell like him, you know. Like Kenny."

"Great." I said softly not really liking that so much.

"I don't want to know who you are." She sobbed. "I just want to go home."

"Karen?" I asked softly. "How did you get here?" I asked.

"I don't know!" She sobbed. "I just was here." She sobbed as she held me. "I need him Bring him back to me. Bring him back!" She sobbed.

"Karen, he's gone." I said softly.

"No! No, he's not! He's down there!" she screamed as she tried to get to the grave. "He's trapped under the marble!" she sobbed. "It's crushing him!" She started beating her fists against my chest, trying to get me to let her go.

"Karen, honey, you need to go to the hospital. You have a fever." I said softly.

She turned around in my arms, and broke free. She ran. I ran after her, and before I knew it, she was throwing up. She was crying, and throwing up. Her nose was bleeding, too.

"Karen," I said softly as I held her gently in my arms. "You have to snap out of it." I gasped. "Look up at me."

"No!" she sobbed. "I don't care! I don't want to know. I don't want to know who you are!" she sobbed. "Just take me home!" She begged as she clung to me.

I walked her all the way to Hell's pass. They took her in, and they checked her out. She was dehydrated, and she was low on iron. She was thin, and she had heroin in her system. I didn't know how much I wanted to tell her parents. So, I settled for the small amount of the truth.

I went to the McCormick's house, and found Kevin, Karol, and Stuart watching TV.

"Hey." Kevin said softly.

"Today's your lucky day." I said as I sat down in front of the trio. "I found her."

"Where!?" they all yelled.

I told them what had happened. I told them she was at Hell's pass.

… … … … … …

I awoke with a head ache from Hell. I was thirsty, and I really wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream. I wasn't high. I needed to get high. I needed my heroin. The pain would threaten to overwhelm me if I didn't find a way to get it. Maybe I could try the morphine. I sat up.

"Karen?" said a soft voice.

I turned my head, and saw Kevin sitting beside me. Where was I?

"You're in Hell's pass." He answered my unasked question.

"How long?" I asked. My voice sounded so strange to me. Like it was hardly ever used. I felt strange. I was in between my happy place, and the real world.

"You've been here for three days." He said softly. "I'm glad you're awake. We're never going to let you go again."

"Did you talk to him?" I asked softly.

"To who?" he asked gently.

"He smells like Kenny, Kevin. I want him back. I want to talk to him. He smells like Kenny."

"Honey, who are you talking about?" Kevin asked confused.

"I…, maybe he wasn't real." I muttered. "Forget it. Just forget it."

I wanted to do what Kenny had asked me to. I wanted to leave the heroin alone. So, I did. I quit. The withdrawal was going to be hell, but oh well. I had my family, and I knew it would be okay. I was released from Hell's pass a week and a half after I got there. It was my birthday when I got back home. I was going to walk home all alone, since everyone was at work. But someone came into my room when I was getting dressed. I put my shirt on, and the door opened. Ike came walking in. It was the first time I'd seen him since…, wow. Since the fire. I was supposed to tell him I had a crush on him. That was no more. I had a crush on Kenny's twin. He smelled like Kenny. Whoever he was, I wanted him.

"Karen?" he asked softly. "You ready to go?" he asked.

"Sure." I said as I made sure I didn't have anything else.

"You look nice today." he said smiling at me.

"I feel a lot better." My voice sounded so bad!

"I'm glad." He said as he came over to me. He hugged me.

"It's you!" I shouted. "Ike, it's you!"

"What are you talking about?" he asked calmly as he stroked my hair.

"You were the one at the funeral! You were the one at the grave site. You smell like Kenny." My voice was a whisper now. "It was you. All along, I've been wondering who it was. It was you." I whispered.

"I thought you would've known that." He said sadly.

"Where have I been all this time?" I gasped.

"I don't know. You tell me. Why don't you tell me all about it, and we head home while we're at it?" he asked.

"Sure." I said softly as he led me off and out of the hospital.

I told him all I remember. I told him everything except the drugs. I told him about California, and my job. He asked me what I did. I sold clothes at a store in the city center. Lewis Vuitton.

"Are you kidding me?!" he asked as he steered me into the house. "And you spent all the money you made on drugs? You could've bought another house by now!" he shouted.

"I didn't mention any drugs." I said as I smiled. Oh my, it felt strange. I don't think I've ever felt this way for a long time. I felt a little guilty being happy, while Kenny was dead.

"Karen, honey, I took you to Hell's pass, and they told me you had heroin in your system." He explained.

"Oh." I muttered as I felt my face flush. "I…, I…, it was just…,"

"You're not going to do that anymore." He said softly as we both sat down on the couch.

"Ike? I don't know if I can promise you that." I muttered.

"I know you don't want to do it anymore." Ike said softly. "It's not you. It really is not you." He explained.

"I have to go." I said as I tried to stand up.

"Please." He said as he wrapped his arms around me.

I was slapped with the feelings I had whenever the stranger held me at the funeral Or whenever the stranger held me in the grave site. I didn't want to leave. I wanted him to hold me forever.

"Don't leave me, Ike." I whispered as my eyes filled with tears. "I love you. I need you. You're all I have." I gasped.

"No Karen. You've got your family. But, yes. I love you, too." He said as he leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. "I promise I will help you through this. I swear. Everything will be okay. I have you back, and your family has you back. We'll all make it through." He said softly.

"I love you, Ike!" I sobbed.

"I love you, too." He said softly.

"What happened while I was gone?" I asked softly.

"Stan got married, to Wendy. Kyle is attending Boulder. Cartman killed himself. Butters married Sally. Flora and Fillmore are engaged. Georgie is the owner of that KFC in Denver." He explained. "Shelly got her online boyfriend to marry her. Kevin isn't doing much." He said smiling.

"Why did Cartman kill himself?" I asked.

"He kind of had a mental break down." Ike said as he rocked me in his arms. "He really missed your brother I guess." He said bitterly.

"I thought about it, too." I confessed.

"I am really glad you didn't." Ike said softly as he stared at me with tear filled eyes. "I really don't know what I would do." He said softly. "I am really in love with you."

"So am I." I said softly. "Funny, I don't remember a feeling this good." I explained.

"I promise, my love. You won't have to feel anything bad again. And if you do, I'll make it go away." He said as he kissed my forehead.

"Thank you, Ike." I said softly.

He was soft, and warm. He smelled just like Kenny. I loved them both. Ike would take care of me. He always would.

"Happy birthday, my girl." Ike whispered.

"Thank you." I said as I laid my head on his chest.


End file.
